If Only She Knew
by DevilChild1
Summary: This time Gordo didn't change! :) but Lizzie did. I hope you like it, it's kinda has a twist. The title will only fit for the first part. Lol, R+R!!!
1. Popularity Has Its Price

1 If Only She Knew - Popularity Has Its Price  
  
By Devilchild211  
  
Rated – PG-13  
  
Author's Notes  
  
I DO NOT OWN LIZZIE MCGUIRE. Sorry, I've been in a bad mood lately, this asshole that I want to kill, mutilate, rip limb from limb… *sees everyone backing away from the fan-fic* ehh… I'll shut up now. Thanks to those who reviewed! This song is 'If only she knew' by Michelle Branch on her CD 'Spirit Room'  
  
*****  
  
I watch the two of them, so happy, if hurts. It seriously hurts, to know that I once had that, to know that I had foolish giving it all up for superficial things such as popularity. I would give up almost anything, no, absolutely anything to be back into those arms of his, to be the one he loved, to be the one he kissed so tenderly, to be the only he whispered sweet nothings to. But no I'm not, I'm the one, instead I'm the one brooding in the shadows watching them down at the lake, alone.  
  
I don't know whose side I'm takin'  
  
But I'm not takin' things too well  
  
I an see inside you're achin'  
  
But is it still too early for me too tell?  
  
He walked past me without even glancing my way, I choked back the urge to just break down in front of him. Would he be satisfied, stop this torture he puts me though? I knew he hated me, he ignored my calls, slammed the door in my face, & turned a cold shoulder on me in public. Not that I could blame him. But god, I want him back. And somewhere in my heart, I remain hopeful & hopes that he feels the same.  
  
Though it looks as if it's over  
  
I'm still not over you  
  
The days pass fast & school has started once again. High school's a different world, I'm popular & glamorous, consider Kate & Claire's best friend, but he doesn't care. I tried to get his attention, to show off in front of him, to show him what he was missing. I stood in my cheerleading outfit with Kate & Claire talking loudly flipping my hair. "Oh yeah, I know, he's totally going to ask me out for the next dance." I bragged loudly in front of him as I watched him walk by with her. "I mean I could tell he was totally like crushing on me since day one." I sidestepped into his path trying to get his attention. He looked at me for a brief second; I looked up at him though my eyelashes & smirked & flipped my hair at them. I watched him coolly roll his eyes & share a smile with her & walk on like nothing happened. Yet I saw him look back for just a second-  
  
'Cause I still love you like I did before  
  
I know for sure that you still feel the same way I do  
  
If only she knew  
  
Whoa, if only she knew, oh  
  
I know he still has feelings for me but he won't forgive will he, for dumping their friendship & his love like Kate did. When I told the two of them at the Digital Bean that I thought they were just a bunch of freaks & to stay out of my way, she had cried & sobbed begging me to stay giving me the satisfaction of knowing I was higher then her. But him, he didn't say anything at first then he just looked back up at me.  
  
"Well, Elizabeth Mcguire, you've finally shown the world what you really are, a pathetic little popularity thirsty fucked up bitch." He smiled grimly, "Another dumb bimbo- how sad." He turned, grabbed her hand & walked off leaving me there stunned at his words.  
  
I try to let it go  
  
But I don't know if I can take it  
  
'Cause the way you looked at me  
  
Made me see that I can't really fake it  
  
I spent so many nights crying after that crying into my pillow wondering if I should go back to them but the thought of being popular & cool always won. I smiled big & wide- not to mention completely fake- at everyone every morning & glared at all the geeks. He rolled his eyes at me.  
  
Today I shoved by him rudely trying to prove that I was okay with out him, he leaned over & whispered in my ear, "Like I said, another blonde bimbo, you're just another populartity thirsty kid among the crowd. I must say your mind's pretty fucked up ain't it? Doing everything for popularity. But hey, it worked. Life just like you dreamed of, right?" He walked off. I stood there stunned as his harsh words rang though my head over & over. I felt my heart pound in my ears, tears running down my face as I suddenly picked myself up & ran.  
  
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DONE WITH ONE CHAPTER!!! ( SEND IDEAS!!! 


	2. A Disease? Cured?

If Only She Knew – A disease? Cured?  
  
By Devilchild211  
  
Rated - PG-13  
  
Author's Notes…  
  
'If Only She Knew' by Michelle Branch, from her CD 'Spirit Room' REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!!! R+R!!!!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
I try to help you though the hardest of times  
  
Your heart is in your throat & I'm speaking my mind  
  
Though it looks as if it's over  
  
I'm still not over you  
  
I suddenly felt someone jump on top of me as I walked to my usually lunch spot outdoors. I heaved forward at the sudden attack from behind. I landed on the ground, hard, a slender arm shoved me over so I could see my attacker, Lizzie? I blinked, tears were running down her cheeks, her hair draped & falling like a sleek curtain blocking sight in front of me. No none noticed the- well interesting position I was in with her since my usually lunch spot is so far from others were only me & Miranda eat.  
  
"I'm sorry Gordo, I'm sorry!" she cried sobbing.  
  
'Cause I still love you like I did before  
  
I know for sure you still feel the same way I do  
  
If only she knew  
  
Whoa  
  
I sat up as she cried into my shirt. I pulled her away to see her face, she kneeled there on the grass beside me, her eyes pleading with me. I loved her & I still do. I lifted her chin up sadly.  
  
I try to help you though the hardest of times  
  
Your heart is in your throat & I'm speaking my mind  
  
Though it looks as if it's over  
  
I'm still not over you  
  
Oh, I'm still not over you  
  
"God, I wanted popularity so badly, I just couldn't think straight!" she cried out, "It was like this disease that ate away at me little by little!"  
  
"But what now?" I asked her, a disease that ate away at your soul, maybe it was true.  
  
She looked up at me, her eyes wide, "I love you Gordo, please, I'm giving it up, I won't let it control me. If I get popular it'll because of the real me." She promised kissing my nose. "Please Gordo."  
  
"Lizzie, I loved you so much-" I felt my throat clog & I squeezed my eyes shut, "I still do." I said roughly, "but I can't be with you Lizzie." I opened my eyes & saw the pain & remorse in her eyes.  
  
She looked away, "Why not?" she said in a pained whispered that came out rough & soft.  
  
"Lizzie, whether you realized it or not, your really hurt me when you just used me & threw me out like a old tee shirt. It takes time to heal Lizzie." I stared into her hazel eyes, 'I'm sorry' was all I was thinking, I wanted to just hold her so bad but I restrained myself. "I'm going out with Miranda as well. Why don't you talk to her about your friendship now?" I finished softly wiping away a few remaining tears.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
I nodded numbly, asked where she was, & walked away. I didn't go to the library thought, I took my car & went directly home & cried my eyes out. I was hating the world at the moment but I guess over time my anger at Miranda faded. I had hurt Gordo, bad. I needed to give time for us to heal, but one day I'll fix everything, I promise. I smiled making myself feel better, 'She can't love him like I do, she'll never love him like I do. I'll win him back, I promise.'  
  
'Cause I still love you like I did before  
  
I know for sure you still feel the same way I do  
  
Whoa  
  
'Cause I'll never ever walk away I'll find away  
  
She could never love you the way I do  
  
If only she knew  
  
I called up Miranda that afternoon & talked for hours, trying to make up what had been lost. I was listening & wishing with all my might that she'd just 'SHUT UP' Finally she had to go, thank god! I reminded myself sternly that I need Miranda to get Gordo back. Miranda talked about how much she loved Gordo, right… 'Miranda, you fool, Gordo's mine. If she only knew…' I smirked, 'all mine' I thought as I called up Kate & Claire for three-way, now to get started on a plan…  
  
If only she knew, oh yeah  
  
Na na na na na na na na  
  
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PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW!!! R+R NOW!!!! Thanks!!! WHAT SHOULD I WRITE NEXT!!! SEND PLOTS & IDEAS TO DEVILCHILD211@HOTMAIL.COM OR PUT THEM IN A REVIEW!!!! 


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